You need to change.你需要改变。
Man, I have been feeling like I have been on a treadmill老兄，我一直感觉自己就像在跑步机上一样。
and I haven't moved at all.而我根本没有前进。
And it's because fear has kept me back, but more importantly, it's been这是因为恐惧一直在拖我的后腿，但更重要的是，
my own self, I've been getting in my真正挡住我的其实是我自己；
own way and I've been living my life through a mindset of scarcity and我一直在给自己使绊子，也一直带着一种稀缺感生活，
through a mindset of what if I还带着一种万一我
I'm sure you know this mindset very well.我相信你非常了解这种心态。
if I leave this person that's treating me terribly in this relationship,如果我离开这个在这段关系中对我很糟糕的人。
what if I never find somebody?如果我永远找不到别人怎么办？
Well, if I decide to move somewhere, what about all the friends that I already have?嗯，如果我决定搬到某个地方，那我已有的朋友们怎么办？
If I decide to take a chance on myself, what if it doesn't work out?如果我决定为自己冒一次险，但结果不成功怎么办？
The what ifs are ruining那些假设正在毁掉
everything in your life? Mine as well.你生活中的一切？我的也是。
And I'll tell you something.我要告诉你一件事。
This fear of failure, it's not something that goes away.这种对失败的恐惧，它不会消失。
Unless you start to oppose it.除非你开始对抗它。
Unless you tell yourself, you know what?除非你告诉自己：你知道吗？
So what if I fail?就算我失败了，那又怎样？
So what if it doesn't work out?就算结果不顺利，那又怎样？
So what if I don't like it?就算我不喜欢它，那又怎样？
I'd rather know than not.我宁愿知道，也不愿不知道。
But it's so much easier in our minds to talk但在我们的脑海里，说服自己放弃这些事情要容易得多
ourselves out of these things and to fall in this hole说服自己放弃这些事，然后掉进自满的坑里
of complacency, and I just want to tell you: you don't need to stay there.我只想告诉你：你不需要待在那个地方。
I'm sorry if somebody made you think如果有人让你觉得
that you were never good enough.你永远都不够好。
And I'm sorry if your brain is making you think如果你的大脑让你觉得自己是个失败者，我很抱歉。
that you are some kind of loser and that you don't你是个失败者，而且你不应该改变。
deserve to change and that people will look at you differently if you do,值得改变，而且如果你改变了，人们会用不同的眼光看你。
but I promise you that no one will.但我向你保证，没有人会这样。
In fact, you will be noticed by the people that you want in your life when you do.事实上，当你改变时，你会被你生命中想要的人注意到。
What does this change look like?这种变化看起来是什么样的？
I think, for me right now, my judgment is clouded.我认为，就目前而言，我的判断力受到了影响。
It feels like I am just in the waves, kind of going around感觉就像我身处波涛之中，四处漂泊
and I'm not able to have some kind of steady water.而且我无法找到某种平静的水域。
And I think what's helped me in the past is deliberately giving yourself time and isolation.我认为过去对我有帮助的是刻意给自己时间和独处。
Picking a period of your life.选择你生命中的一段时期。
Maybe it's a month.也许是一个月。
For some of us, it's been even a year.对我们中的一些人来说，甚至已经是一年了。
I took a year of just being alone.我花了一整年时间独自一人。
And listening to what my inner dialogue was telling me, my gut, my intuition.倾听我的内心对话告诉我的，我的直觉，我的本能。
And it's funny because这很有趣。
right now I kind of feel disconnected from my intuition because现在我感觉与我的直觉有些脱节。
I have fallen in this complacency.我已经陷入了这种自满之中。
And your intuition comes to life really when you challenge your beliefs,而你的直觉真正活跃起来是在你挑战自己的信念时。
yourself, and you find other people that are on你自己，然后你找到其他处于
the same path as you.与你相同道路上的人。
But that does not happen unless you do the work.但除非你付出努力，否则这不会发生。
The work looks like这项工作看起来像是
questioning what you want,质疑你想要什么。
questioning what feels right and what you actually need质疑什么感觉是对的以及你实际需要什么
because those are two different things.因为这是两件不同的事情。
What might feel right可能感觉对的事情
is chilling out on the beach all day and not addressing the fact that you've gained some weight,是一整天在海滩上放松，而不去处理你体重增加的事实。
not been good to yourself, that you've actually been very distant from your partner, and they're noticing.你对自己不好，实际上你一直对伴侣很疏远，他们注意到了。
And maybe it's the fact that you've been avoiding也许事实是你一直在回避
a lot of the problems in your life because you don't think生活中的很多问题，因为你不认为
When in reality, you absolutely can.而实际上，你完全能做到。
And I think what has helped me a lot is deliberately taking that isolated time and doing me.我认为对我帮助很大的是刻意抽出那段独处的时间，做我自己。
When people say, I'ma do me.当人们说“我要做我自己”时，
What does that mean?这到底是什么意思？
It means taking care of yourself as if you were another person.这意味着像对待另一个人一样照顾自己。
It means going on walks, listening to good music, giving your brain kind of this empty canvas to paint on.这意味着去散步、听好音乐，给你的大脑一种空白的画布去描绘。
And sometimes it won't want to paint, it will want to write and allowing yourself to write.有时它不想画，它想写，并且允许自己去写。
I probably would journal every single day我可能每天都会写日记
in a time period where I really didn't feel good about myself and also not taking things so seriously.在一个我对自己感觉真的很不好的时期，并且也不把事情看得那么严重。
You don't have your stuff together right now, right?你现在还没把自己的事情处理好，对吧？
You feel like you're behind the ball.你觉得自己落后了。
You feel like everyone except you is excelling in life.你觉得除了你之外，每个人在生活中都表现出色。
No, they're not, bro. No, they're not.不，他们不是，兄弟。不，他们不是。
People are just acting on things.人们只是在根据情况行事。
But right now, you can't think in action.但现在，你无法在行动中思考。
You need to think about what is blocking you.你需要思考是什么在阻碍你。
Why are you so quick你为什么如此迅速
to beat yourself up for wanting to try something new?因为想尝试新事物而责备自己？
What is causing that?是什么导致了那一切？
Why are you so quick to dismiss that idea you have for a really cool video?你为什么这么快就否定了你那个关于制作一个超酷视频的想法？
What is stopping that? Why are you not letting yourself make music and create art?是什么阻止了这件事？你为什么不允许自己创作音乐和艺术？
Why are you not letting yourself study for exams you know that are important?你为什么不允许自己为那些你知道很重要的考试而学习？
And instead, you're using your time to stay up late. Why?相反，你却把时间用来熬夜。为什么？
If you don't get to the root of this,如果你不找到这个问题的根源。
you will spend your entire life trying to patch up the symptoms.你将花费一生试图修补这些症状。
And I have been so good at finding things that patch up the symptoms of my life. Oh.而且我非常擅长找到那些能修补我生活症状的东西。哦。
Well, I'm not comfortable with how I look.嗯，我对自己的外表感到不舒服。
Maybe a new hoodie is gonna solve that. Oh, I'm really也许一件新连帽衫就能解决这个问题。哦，我真的很
upset that I went to bed late.因为晚睡而感到难过。
Well, if I have some pizza first thing in the morning, it'll make me feel better about myself.嗯，如果我早上第一件事就是吃些披萨，那会让我自我感觉更好。
These are just small fixes.这些只是小修小补。
And really what a lot of us struggle with and myself included is而实际上，我们很多人——包括我自己——所挣扎的是
we don't have the character我们没有那种品格
to look back on and reference in order to tell ourselves we're gonna be okay.去回顾和参考，以便告诉自己我们会没事的。
We've instead let ourselves kind of live in this limbo.我们反而让自己活在一种不确定的状态中。
Instead of having systems, instead of having routine,我们没有建立体系，也没有建立常规流程。
that we know we can fall back on and be like, hey,我们知道可以依赖的（体系或常规），然后说，嘿。
I know my life is crazy right now.我知道我的生活现在一团糟。
I know that it's unpredictable.我知道它难以预测。
I know that I am feeling really conflicted about my relationships.我知道我对自己的感情关系感到非常矛盾。
I'm feeling really conflicted about where I live, where I'm visiting.我对自己住的地方、去的地方感到非常矛盾。
The fact that I go home, I don't even feel like I'm at home, but you know what?事实上，我回家时甚至不觉得自己在家，但你知道吗？
I know that I have some things that I can do every day.我知道我每天都有一些可以做的事情。
at least make me feel a little bit like me.至少让我感觉有点像自己。
I've also just been such a terrible我也一直是一个糟糕的
parent to myself.对自己而言的父母。
You have to have this relationship with your inner child.你必须与你的内在小孩建立这种关系。
And it's really difficult when you want your inner kid to be happy.当你希望你的内在小孩快乐时，这真的很难。
And their happiness is not in productivity.而他们的快乐不在于生产力。
And you've built your你已经建立了你的
identity around maybe going to the gym every day, maybe being really身份认同围绕着也许每天去健身房，也许非常
in tune with your craft与你的技艺协调一致
And what if your inner child is like rebelling against that? And they don't want to do that.如果你的内在小孩在反抗那个呢？他们不想那样做。
And they actually want to go and play a sport.而且他们实际上想去运动。
They want to go swim.他们想去游泳。
They want to go have a smoothie.他们想去喝杯冰沙。
You know, I used to get smoothies from McDonald's你知道吗，我以前常从麦当劳买冰沙。
when my mom would take me to school in the mornings.当我妈妈早上送我去学校的时候。
Sometimes she didn't have enough time to make breakfast.有时候她没有足够的时间做早餐。
And that was always my go to. And I love the mango smoothie they had.那总是我的首选。而且我喜欢他们那里的芒果冰沙。
Oh man, it was probably like juice and ice.哦天哪，它大概就是果汁和冰。
But for like an 11 year old, it was heaven.但对于一个11岁的孩子来说，那简直是天堂。
small things like that.像那样的小事。
You deprive your inner child of having.你剥夺了你内心小孩的拥有权。
And instead you make them slave away.相反，你让他们像奴隶一样辛苦工作。
And instead you then question, why am I unhappy?相反，你随后又质疑，为什么我不快乐？
You don't give yourself the freedom to be happy.你没有给自己快乐的权利。
You have to set time for yourself.你必须为自己留出时间。
You have to. It's something I'm learning this year.你必须这样做。这是我今年正在学习的事情。
It's been so difficult.这太难了。
I am one of the worst time managers I know.我是我所认识的最差的时间管理者之一。
But it is a choice because part of me doesn't think I deserve the time.但这是一个选择，因为我内心有一部分认为我不配拥有时间。
I say, well, what's the point in me having time if it's going to get squandered?我说，好吧，如果时间会被浪费掉，那我拥有时间还有什么意义呢？
A really bad mindset comes over because一种非常糟糕的心态会袭来。
maybe I don't feel like I'm productive enough and I don't work hard enough.也许我觉得自己不够高效，也不够努力。
And therefore, having more free time is a bad thing.因此，拥有更多的空闲时间是一件坏事。
When in reality, it's, it's not.而实际上，并非如此。
And it's something I should cherish.这是我应该珍惜的东西。
My inner child for a while has also been telling me to like我的内在小孩有一段时间也一直在告诉我，比如
go travel to places that I want to go to,去我想去的地方旅行。
not because I have family there, not because I have friends there.不是因为那里有家人，也不是因为那里有朋友。
And I, I've been afraid to do that recently. How you doing?而且我，我最近一直害怕做那件事。你好吗？
because I'm afraid that if I step away因为我害怕如果我走开
from my show, from the things that satisfy从我的节目，从那些让我满足的事情中
a part of me that is afraid of not being consistent, being a loser, being someone that's less than,我内心的一部分害怕不能保持一致，害怕成为一个失败者，害怕成为一个不如别人的人。
And I think this mindset can hold a lot of us back而且我认为这种心态会阻碍我们很多人。
because we begin to look at our lives, not因为我们开始看待我们的生活，不是
through the lens of what we can gain, but always what we can lose.通过我们能获得什么的视角，而总是我们能失去什么。
And this scarcity, it drains your cortisol. It really does.而这种匮乏感，它会消耗你的皮质醇。确实如此。
It makes you feel like everything is, you know, now or never.它让你觉得一切，你知道的，要么现在做，要么永远不做。
You're all in or you're not in.你要么全力以赴，要么就不参与。